There is an old Nigerian saying: _Baboon dey work, monkey dey chop_. It was meant for the forest, but it now sits perfectly in Abuja.
The baboons are the workers, the laborers, the civil servants, the teachers, the nurses, the men and women who wake at 4am to beat traffic and return home at 9pm to meet NEPA darkness.
While the monkeys are the politicians — tailored agbada, SUV convoys, foreign medical trips — who harvest where they did not plant.
Today, as we mark Workers’ Day, the irony is too bitter to swallow. We celebrate labour, yet labour is the one being buried.
The Payslip of Two Nigerians
Let’s put numbers to the proverb. A Grade Level 08 civil servant, with a degree and 5 years in service, earns roughly ₦70,000 to ₦90,000 monthly under the new minimum wage structure. After pension deductions, NHF, tax, and union dues, he takes home about ₦65,000. That is ₦2,166 per day. In today’s Nigeria, that cannot buy four eggs and a loaf of bread, without minding oil for frying.
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👉 JOIN GISTSMATE WHATSAPP CHANNELNow look at the monkey. A Senator of the Federal Republic earns a consolidated salary of ₦1,063,860 monthly. But salary is not the story. The story is in allowances: hardship allowance ₦1,242,122, constituency allowance ₦4,968,509, furniture allowance ₦7,452,736, severance gratuity ₦7,452,736, motor vehicle loan ₦9,936,982.
Add newspaper allowance, wardrobe, recess, estacode, and the infamous “running cost” of ₦13.5 million monthly, and one Senator takes home over ₦15 million every 30 days.
A House of Representatives member is not far behind, with total monthly packages hovering around ₦9 million to ₦12 million.
Do the math: one Senator’s monthly “running cost” alone can pay the full salaries of 207 civil servants on Grade Level 08. One year of one Senator’s earnings can fund the annual wage bill of an entire local government secretariat. Baboon dey work, monkey dey chop.
After Subsidy: Tax the Wound
The baboons were told subsidy was the problem. On May 29, 2023, it was removed. Petrol moved from ₦195 to ₦617, then to ₦900+, and on workers’ day, it’s ₦1,400+ in many states. The promise was that savings would build refineries, schools, hospitals. Two years later, the refineries are still “about to work.”
But the taxes arrived immediately. Electricity tariff moved from ₦68 to ₦225/kWh for Band A. VAT remains 7.5% on every bottle of water the baboon buys. Import duty, excise duty, cybersecurity levy, stamp duty, EMTL, education tax — the baboon is taxed when he earns, taxed when he spends, taxed when he saves, taxed when he dies.
Meanwhile, the monkeys debate their own salaries in closed sessions. They approve ₦70 billion for “constituency projects” in the supplementary budget. They buy ₦160 million SUVs for each member. They fly first class to “oversight functions” in Dubai. The baboon who builds the road does not have transport fare to use it. The nurse who runs the clinic cannot afford the drugs she dispenses.
Workers’ Day: What Are We Celebrating?
So today is Workers’ Day. Mr President represented by Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Senator George Akume has gave another beautiful speech at Eagle Square. The NLC has marched. The governors have promised “better days.” The TV stations ran documentaries of “dignity of labour.”
But what dignity exists when the man who teaches your child cannot pay his own child’s school fees? What dignity exists when the police officer who guards the bank sleeps in a one-room apartment with his family of six? What dignity exists when pensioners collapse in verification queues while lawmakers collect “severance” every four years whether they worked or not?
We celebrate Workers’ Day the way we celebrate a funeral: with fine clothes, long speeches, and a corpse in the middle. The corpse is the Nigerian worker. He died from minimum wage that cannot buy a bag of rice. He died from hospitals without gloves. He died from a transport system that eats half his salary. He died from watching monkeys smile on national TV while telling him to “sacrifice for the nation.”
Until the Forest Changes
Baboon dey work, monkey dey chop is not just a proverb. It is the budget of the Federal Republic. It is the line item that says ₦15 trillion for debt service, ₦4 trillion for National Assembly, and ₦200 billion for the wage award that never comes.
Until we reverse it, Workers’ Day will remain a national joke. Until the baboon refuses to work for free, the monkey will never learn to farm. Until labour stops suffering in silence, politicians will keep smiling to the bank.
To the baboons: may your strength not fail. To the monkeys: may your appetite finally meet the anger of the forest. Because even baboons have teeth. And when hunger meets insult, the forest changes.
Happy Workers’ Day, Nigeria.
Ebenezer Olukayode Ogundele Writes from Ibadan, Oyo state.
ebenezerolukayode01@gmail.com
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