A 23-year-old man, Ememobong Nyong, has shared the bitter experience of being forcefully subjected to a DNA test by his paternal relatives, which eventually led to his rejection by the only family he had ever known and left him homeless.
Nyong, who hails from Akwa Ibom State but currently resides in Lagos, narrated how his life took a drastic turn after a DNA test, allegedly carried out without his full consent or the presence of any maternal family member, revealed that he was not the biological child of the man he believed was his father for nearly two decades.
Speaking to Sunday PUNCH, the 23-year-old man said his ordeal began when a disagreement over family inheritance led to bitter confrontations with his father’s siblings, who questioned his paternity.
“They used to treat my dad with disrespect. I always defended him. I didn’t understand why they spoke to him with so much contempt. Later, I found out they never believed I was his child,” he recalled.
He explained that he was raised by the man he believed was his father, a carpenter who, despite financial struggles, had taken responsibility for him after his mother arrived pregnant and allegedly claimed he was the father.
Though the man initially denied paternity, Nyong said the man later accepted the child after pressure from extended family and a pastor.
“My mum died when I was still young. I knew her, but we were never close. My dad raised me, and even though his siblings never treated me like family, he never said anything to make me doubt I was his son,” he said.
According to Nyong, tensions peaked in 2021 when he gained admission to the University of Uyo but couldn’t afford the school fees.
He said he approached his father’s siblings for financial assistance, believing they were holding funds from a recently sold family property.
“My dad told me his siblings were holding his share of the money from the land they sold. But when I asked them for help, they told me to go back to my real father,” Nyong said.
Shortly after, he said he was allegedly detained by a man he believed might be working with the Department of State Services.
Nyong claimed he was held in the man’s home for three days, monitored constantly, and eventually taken to a medical facility where a DNA sample was collected against his will.
He added, “I wasn’t told clearly what was happening. I was just 19. They didn’t let me speak to my dad. At the clinic, they forced something into my mouth and took a sample. No one from my maternal family was there. I kept asking, ‘Where is my father?’ but no one answered.”
Three weeks later, he said he was again picked up by the same people and told the result showed he was not biologically related to the man he had called father all his life.
“I was shocked. I didn’t even understand the result. I had no one to talk to. My maternal grandmother came later but said nothing. She asked why no one informed her when the test was done,” he said.
Nyong described the emotional trauma that followed as unbearable.
With nowhere to go and no support system, he said he became homeless, drifting between temporary shelters and surviving through menial jobs.
“I cried every day. I felt like I didn’t exist. My identity was stolen from me. If the man I called ‘father’ is not my dad, then who is? My mum is dead. My grandmother couldn’t help much. I had no one,” he stated.
He said depression and suicidal thoughts followed soon after.
“I had made many mistakes as a teenager. I gambled, I stole, and I lied. But I always wanted to make life better for my dad. I thought if I won money, I’d help him. When they told me he wasn’t my dad, it crushed me. I felt worthless.”
Nyong said he eventually relocated to Lagos, where he found work in a private hospital as a waiter.
Unable to continue his education due to a lack of funds and emotional instability, he revealed that he began taking online courses in Forex trading and digital skills to survive.
“I am trying to find a future for myself, but the past haunts me. I don’t know my real father. I don’t even know where I am from. When people ask about my village, I have no answer,” he said.
He said he has been blocked on all social media platforms by members of his former family, including the man who raised him, leaving him in complete isolation.
Nyong credited his survival to a spiritual awakening that came after months of depression and self-isolation.
He added, “I found Christ. That’s what saved me. Whenever I feel like crying, I pray. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m alive. And I’m moving forward.”
Meanwhile, mental health professionals have warned that discovering one is not the biological father of a child is not a valid reason to emotionally or physically abandon that child, stressing that such actions can have devastating and long-lasting effects on the child’s mental health.
The physicians stressed that children must never be made to suffer the consequences of paternity disputes.
Speaking to PUNCH Healthwise in separate interviews, the mental health experts maintained that regardless of the biological findings, children deserve consistent love, care, and psychological stability.
The experts admitted the rising cases of paternity fraud in Nigeria, which has seen many men discover through DNA tests that they are not the biological fathers of the children they have raised.
While acknowledging that such revelations can be emotionally distressing for adults, the mental physicians warned that the real victims of these discoveries are often the children, who are subjected to rejection, neglect, and, in some cases, abuse.
A Consultant Psychiatrist at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital, Aro, Abeokuta, Dr. Yesiru Kareem, said the emotional toll on a child who suddenly realises that the man he or she has always called “father” no longer wants to play that role can be catastrophic.
He explained that such rejection could lead to serious psychological consequences, including depression, anxiety, identity crises, and, in extreme cases, suicidal thoughts.
“The revelation that a man is not the biological father should never translate to withdrawing affection or responsibility from the child.
“The psychological trauma that follows such rejection can be long-term. These children did not choose the circumstances of their birth, and punishing them emotionally for it is both unjust and damaging,” he said.
Also speaking, a clinical psychologist, Dr. Juliet Ottoh, emphasised that the way such information is handled makes a significant difference.
She said children may interpret rejection as a personal failure, which can damage their self-worth and trust in others.
She explained that children in their formative years are highly sensitive to emotional shifts in their environment.
According to her, discovering that their father is no longer willing to relate to them as before, especially after a DNA revelation, can lead to confusion, fear, withdrawal, and academic decline.
She said, “Children might feel betrayed or even blame themselves. In some cases, they internalise the rejection, believing that they are unwanted or unloved. This can follow them into adulthood, affecting their relationships, mental health, and general outlook on life.”
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