Popular comedian and talk show host, Teju Oyelakin, widely known as Teju Babyface, has advised men not to confess to their wives or partners if they cheat, saying such admissions only cause more harm than good.
In a YouTube video shared on Monday, the comedian warned that confessing infidelity, especially by men, is one of the “most catastrophic and damaging” things a person can do in a marriage.
“If you cheat on your wife or your husband, but especially your wife — especially men — if you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it,” he said.
“It is one of the most catastrophic and damaging things you can ever do in your life.”
Teju explained that people often misinterpret the concept of confession, noting that many quote the Bible to justify confessing to their partners. He stressed that confession of sin is meant to be to God, not to humans.
“People will even quote the Bible to support the idea of confession. They will say that if we confess and repent, then our sins are forgiven,” he said.
“Excuse me, that is to God and from God, not to man. It is confession to God, not to man. Do not do it.”
According to him, people who confess after cheating often deceive themselves into believing they are being honest, when in reality, they are being manipulative and self-serving.
“You are not being honest; you are being manipulative. What you’re really doing is shedding the weight of your guilt, not helping your spouse. You’re looking for someone else to carry the burden of your wrongdoing,” he explained.
Teju, who also shared a personal experience, admitted that before marriage, he once cheated in a serious relationship and confessed to a decision he now regrets. He said his confession was not made out of sincerity, but rather because he subconsciously wanted to sabotage the relationship.
“I can see clearly now that I confessed because I wanted out of the relationship,” he said.
“If I cheated and then confessed, and she left by herself, I could justify it to myself. That was not honesty — that was cowardice.”
The comedian further argued that confessions rarely bring healing to a relationship, as they often deepen the emotional wounds of the betrayed partner and permanently alter trust.
“There is no benefit to your spouse when you confess. All the benefits are yours. What you give them is pain, heartache, and misery,” he stated.
Teju Babyface also cited examples of people who confessed to infidelity only to live with the regret for years, saying some marriages never recover from the damage caused by such revelations.
“I have a friend who cheated on his wife 15 years ago, confessed in their first year of marriage, and to this day she still holds it over his head. He’s still suffering from that confession,” he shared.
He emphasised that true repentance should involve behavioural change, not confession, urging men to stop cheating rather than seek emotional relief by confessing.
“If you feel bad about cheating, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a counsellor, not your wife. Don’t ever put that weight on her. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” Teju said.
He concluded by distinguishing between a man who makes a mistake and one who is a habitual cheater.
“The fact that you cheated once doesn’t make you a cheater,” he noted.
“A cheater is someone who does it repeatedly. But if you stumbled once, learn from it and change your actions, don’t destroy your home in the name of confession.”
See the video here
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https://pickignoranceattacks.com/m3e85u39j?key=f0014e9d9438d5115e4d66e73ca3f04b
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