Men supporting women during pregnancy have been linked to improved maternal and newborn health outcomes by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression.
Nigerian men who have jettisoned cultural beliefs and rolled up their sleeves to support their pregnant wives with household chores share how their involvement helps reduce the stress of pregnancy. SODIQ OJUROUNGBE reports
Before his wife’s first pregnancy, David Akiode held a belief as old as his upbringing that a man’s duty in marriage begins and ends with financial provisions.
To him, helping out in the house, like washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, or even supporting his wife emotionally, was a territory reserved strictly for women. Crossing that line, he believed, would make him less of a man.
“I used to think a man touching a broom or a pot in the house was degrading. It was how I was raised, how my father was. Once the bills are paid, every other thing is considered the woman’s job,” he told PUNCH Healthwise.
So when he married Wunmi, he carried that same mindset into their home. Even when she got pregnant with their first child in December 2023, his attitude didn’t change.
To Akiode, pregnancy was a woman’s natural duty, and it was something women had been doing for centuries without help. So, he continued with his daily routine, making sure his wife had everything she needed materially, but nothing more.
As Wunmi’s belly began to grow and her energy levels started to drop, she continued to shoulder the burden of house chores, including sweeping, cooking, washing clothes, and cleaning the bathrooms, while juggling her full-time job as a school teacher.
But by the 12th week of pregnancy, Wunmi’s body gave in. One evening, after returning from work, she collapsed in the kitchen. Rushed to the hospital, doctors confirmed that she had suffered a miscarriage while attributing it to physical stress and exhaustion.
Akiode added, “It shattered me. The doctor explained that her body was going through too much, and that the constant stress may have contributed significantly to the loss. I felt responsible.”
Just a few months after the heartbreaking loss, Wunmi conceived again. This time, Akiode knew things had to be different.
“The moment we confirmed she was pregnant again, I told her, ‘You’re not lifting a finger in this house.
“I asked her to stop working immediately, and I took over everything, cooking, cleaning, washing, errands. I practically became the houseboy, and I was proud of it,” he recalled to our correspondent.
Akiode said his friends and neighbours would often joke about his new routine, but he no longer cared what anyone thought.
He added, “I didn’t mind. I lost a child once because I was careless. I wasn’t going to let that happen again.”
What started as an obligation born out of guilt soon transformed into something deeper. Akiode began to enjoy the rhythm of domestic life, preparing meals for his wife, scrubbing the floors, and doing laundry. Beyond helping Wunmi stay rested, he discovered that his involvement was strengthening their emotional connection.
“She was relaxed, glowing, and happy. We laughed more and talked more. Even the baby responded to me. I used to speak to her belly every night and feel the baby kick. That feeling alone made everything worth it,” he recalled, smiling.
Akiode added that Wunmi went into labour at full term and had what doctors described as a stress-free, uncomplicated vaginal delivery.
It was a far cry from the trauma of her first pregnancy, and Akiode was right by her side throughout.
He stated, “The doctor told us after delivery that one major reason things went smoothly was because she had enough rest during the pregnancy.
“Her body was relaxed, her blood pressure was stable all through. And during antenatal sessions, I was there with her, learning and supporting. It changed everything for us.”
She’s my partner, not a housemaid
For Igbagboyemi Oladele, a 31-year-old software developer based in Lagos, helping his pregnant wife around the house wasn’t a revelation but a continuation of a partnership built on shared values.
“Even before pregnancy, we did house chores together. So when we found out she was pregnant, it was natural for me to step in more. I didn’t see it as a favour or something extraordinary. She is my partner, not a housemaid,” he told PUNCH Healthwise.
While Oladele acknowledges that his flexible work schedule in the tech industry gives him more time at home, he believes the real foundation is empathy and communication.
As his wife’s body adjusted to pregnancy and her energy levels dipped, Oladele said he quietly restructured his day-to-day life to ensure she didn’t feel overwhelmed.
He added, “I started doing most of the grocery shopping and meal prep when I was around. I also ran errands, handled laundry, and just made sure the house was in order.
“The point was to reduce her stress. I didn’t want her worrying about food or laundry or anything that could affect her peace of mind.”
Oladele said his actions were subtle but consistent, that he didn’t wait for her to ask, but anticipated her needs, observed her discomfort, and adjusted accordingly.
“She never complained unnecessarily. I think having me around, knowing that she wasn’t alone in this, helped her a lot mentally and emotionally,” he noted.
As doctors continue to warn about the dangers of physical and emotional stress during pregnancy, which include miscarriage, gestational hypertension, and preterm labour, stories like Akiode and Oladele are showing the impact of partner support throughout the journey of pregnancy.
This support empowers mothers, promotes positive psychosocial well-being, and creates a more positive and secure experience for the entire family.
Maternal health experts noted that Akiode and Oladele’s approach, rooted in partnership and empathy, is a model that more Nigerian men need to emulate.
According to a consultant obstetrician at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital, Dr. Amina Yusuf, stress is a major contributing factor to complications during pregnancy, including high blood pressure, preterm labour, and miscarriages.
“Pregnancy is physically and emotionally demanding. Women need rest, support, and a stress-free environment. When partners are involved, from house chores to antenatal visits, it reduces the mental load and improves both maternal and foetal outcomes,” she explained.
The benefits, she added, are not limited to the pregnant woman alone.
“Fathers who are actively involved from the start build stronger bonds with their children, even before birth. It also strengthens the marital relationship. Everyone wins,” she stressed.
Shift in mindset for safe deliveries
For decades, in many Nigerian homes, pregnancy was seen as a woman’s burden, one she was expected to carry while still maintaining her role as a homemaker.
Pregnancy has historically been treated as a natural phase of life that requires little adjustment from others, especially not the men in their lives.
PUNCH Healthwise observed that the prevailing belief has often been that since millions of women before them gave birth while still fetching water, pounding yams, or farming in the sun, there is no need for special treatment.
This mindset, passed down through generations, has led to the normalisation of stress, fatigue, and even medical complications during pregnancy.
In some homes, even today, a man helping out in the kitchen or picking up a broom is seen as being ‘controlled’ by his wife. Such men are sometimes mocked by peers, elders, or even in-laws who believe that housework diminishes masculinity.
This has discouraged many men from becoming more involved during their partner’s pregnancy, for fear of being seen as weak or “not man enough.”
However, our correspondent observed that this narrative is slowly evolving, particularly among younger, urban, and more educated Nigerians.
It was discovered that men are beginning to understand that supporting a pregnant partner is not a sign of weakness, but of strength, responsibility, and love.
Across cities in the country, PUNCH Healthwise’s findings revealed a growing number of men are beginning to redefine fatherhood and partnership, even before the child arrives.
Whether it is by doing the dishes, cooking meals, cleaning the house, running errands, or simply being emotionally available, our correspondent gathered that these men are stepping beyond the traditional role of the financial provider and embracing a more holistic approach to fatherhood.
This shift, experts say, is not just improving marriages; it is also playing a key role in ensuring safer deliveries.
Research from a range of medical journals and university studies confirmed that physical and emotional stress during pregnancy can contribute to adverse pregnancy outcomes, such as miscarriage, preterm birth, and pregnancy-induced hypertension.
Medical professionals noted that male involvement during pregnancy is a key, often overlooked factor in maternal health.
“When partners are supportive, both physically and emotionally, the woman’s body responds better. We see fewer cases of pregnancy-related hypertension, anxiety, and exhaustion. Labour is often shorter, and recovery is smoother,” said Yusuf.
She added that even small actions, like attending antenatal clinics together or handling chores, can significantly lower maternal stress hormones, leading to better outcomes for both mother and baby.
Male involvement linked to safe delivery
The shift in attitude among some men is not only encouraging but also strongly supported by global health research.
Studies from around the world, including Africa, have repeatedly shown that when men are actively involved in pregnancy, especially by sharing domestic responsibilities, maternal and neonatal outcomes significantly improve.
A 2019 study published in the International Journal of Maternal and Child Health and AIDS found that male involvement during pregnancy, including participation in household chores, attending antenatal care, and emotional support, was associated with reduced levels of maternal stress, fewer complications during labour, and increased rates of skilled birth attendance.
Another multi-country research review conducted by the Guttmacher Institute highlighted that in communities where men were educated and encouraged to support their pregnant partners at home, the risks of preterm birth, miscarriage, and postpartum depression were significantly lower.
The research emphasised that shared responsibility for household duties helped relieve the physical burden placed on expectant mothers, allowing their bodies to rest and recover in preparation for childbirth.
Also, a 2021 study of rural women in Southwestern Nigeria revealed that over 75 per cent of women who received maximum support from their spouses reported having easier labour and delivery experiences.
The World Health Organisation has also taken a firm position on the importance of male involvement in maternal and child health.
In its Recommendations on Antenatal Care for a Positive Pregnancy Experience, the global health body stated that involving male partners can reduce maternal anxiety, increase uptake of health services, and improve pregnancy outcomes.
“Supportive partners are instrumental in helping pregnant women access timely healthcare, maintain mental well-being, and adhere to medical advice.
“When men understand and participate in the pregnancy journey, the health system becomes more responsive, and outcomes improve,” the WHO noted.
Similarly, the United Nations Population Fund stressed that male involvement in reproductive and maternal health is not just a gender issue, but a public health strategy.
In its framework for maternal health interventions in sub-Saharan Africa, UNFPA described supportive fatherhood, including help with household chores, as a critical component of reducing maternal mortality.
Putting studies into practice
PUNCH Healthwise observed that these findings resonate strongly with the experiences of Nigerian men, whose story offers a personal insight into how embracing shared responsibilities can transform pregnancy journeys for the better.
In conversations with about 20 men across different parts of the country, our correspondent discovered firsthand accounts of how actively supporting their wives helped reduce stress and contributed to safer deliveries.
While traditionally, expectant fathers were seen as passive observers, waiting outside labour wards and limiting their involvement to paying bills and buying baby items, now the narrative is changing, and the benefits are undeniable.
Fathers making a difference
For Oluwamuyiwa Oyedele, the joy of finally expecting a child after years of waiting was enough motivation to do things differently, including taking on more household responsibilities during his wife’s pregnancy.
A journalist by profession, Oyedele said the decision to become more hands-on wasn’t just a result of personal reflection, but also shaped by professional exposure.
After attending a Challenge Initiative event focused on women’s reproductive health and the importance of male support during pregnancy and family planning, he began to understand just how critical a supportive partner can be.
“Pregnancy takes a real toll on the body. Physically and emotionally. What really motivated me was knowing she needed rest and emotional support. I had read articles, listened to friends, and observed how easily women get tired. After that event, I saw even clearer why stepping in at home wasn’t optional; it was necessary,” he told PUNCH Healthwise.
For Oyedele, supporting his wife meant more than just financial provision. He stepped into the kitchen, handled cleaning, took over laundry duties, and made sure his wife didn’t have to overexert herself, especially with chores that required bending or standing for too long.
On workdays, he revealed that he adjusted his schedule where possible, cutting back on late outings and assigning media coverage to colleagues so he could be home earlier.
“I planned my weekends around helping out at home. I wanted her to know she wasn’t in this alone,” he said.
The effect on their relationship was almost immediate. With her partner fully engaged, Oyedele’s wife became calmer and more emotionally grounded. The usual stress and fatigue that many pregnant women face were noticeably reduced.
“She had peace of mind. That’s something you can’t put a price on. She was more relaxed, more cheerful. And for me, it brought us closer. We were sharing the load, not just of the housework, but of the journey into parenthood,” he said.
The couple’s bond deepened, and communication improved. Discussions about the future, parenting, and shared responsibilities became more natural.
“It felt like we were already parenting together, even before the baby came,” Oyedele added.
Sacrificing time
Saheed Adeola, a father of two, said he stepped up to help his pregnant wife with household chores, which wasn’t just about sharing the load but also because it was a necessity.
Mr. Saheed Adeola
With no housemaid and just the two of them at home, Saheed revealed that he quickly realised that as the pregnancy progressed, the physical demands on his wife increased, and so did the need for his support.
“Before her pregnancy became heavy, she managed most of the chores herself. But as time went on, it became clear she needed rest. That’s when I took over many of the tasks she used to handle so she could focus on her health and the baby,” he said.
Saheed said he made it a priority to be home earlier, cutting back on late nights and weekend outings.
His new habits included turning on the generator to make the home comfortable, buying fruits to support her nutrition, and assisting in the kitchen.
Even though his wife preferred to cook herself, Saheed said he stayed close, helping with small tasks like cutting ingredients or arranging utensils.
“I stayed by her side, ready to respond quickly if she needed something, especially in emergencies,” he said,
Saheed added that his involvement brought more than just physical relief to his wife; it also fostered emotional security.
“She often expressed appreciation for his care, and the couple’s bond grew stronger through the shared experience.
“She never felt alone during her pregnancy because I made sure I was present. If she had to travel, I followed to ensure her safety before coming back home. This helped reduce her stress and deepened our connection,” Saheed said.
Reflecting on his journey, Saheed offers practical advice to other men preparing for fatherhood.
He stated, “Always be supportive and caring, not just during pregnancy but beyond. Pregnancy is a delicate time, and showing love through practical help can make all the difference.”
He also acknowledged the challenges, particularly when faced with the unpredictable nature of pregnancy cravings.
“Sometimes she’d ask for foods like pounded yams or pap at odd hours, like in the middle of the night.
“When I couldn’t get them immediately, I’d calmly reassure her and promise to provide them the next day. Patience and understanding are key,” he recalled.
Sharing the burden
Tunji Olabode, a contractor and certified engineer, emphasised the importance of supporting pregnant partners with household chores.
He noted that pregnancy brings physical changes, emotional shifts, and increased fatigue for women, making such support crucial.
According to Olabode, helping with chores not only eases the burden on expectant mothers but also promotes a healthier environment and strengthens the relationship between couples.
Olabode explained that his flexible work schedule allows him to dedicate time to assist his wife without affecting his income.
“I don’t have to work every day, and with my workers managing projects, I have enough time to spend with my partner,” he said.
On the impact of his support, Olabode observed that his involvement has helped reduce his wife’s stress and contributed positively to her overall well-being during pregnancy.
Olabode advised other expectant fathers to maintain open communication with their partners and pay close attention to their health.
“Observe her movements and health status, ensure proper checkups, and don’t compromise on medical advice,” he urged.
Rooted in upbringing
On his part, Hakeem Adegbenro recalled that his upbringing played a significant role in shaping his attitude towards household chores during his wife’s pregnancy.
“My parents taught us that house chores are not exclusively for women. We did everything together, so it was easy for me to support my wife,” he said.
Naturally fond of cooking, Hakeem said he found it straightforward to take on responsibilities during his wife’s pregnancy.
He said he actively assisted with cooking and took charge of grocery shopping, leveraging his bargaining skills to manage family finances prudently.
However, washing clothes was a task he less enjoyed, prompting him to purchase a washing machine to ease the burden.
Hakeem noted that his flexible job allowed him to adjust his schedule to meet household demands, while his wife reciprocated by increasing her efforts during his busiest periods.
On the health benefits of his involvement, Hakeem shared that regular attendance at antenatal appointments helped monitor his wife’s well-being, with doctors frequently commending his support.
“Her PCV levels were always normal, and the doctors said my involvement contributed to her smooth labour and safe delivery,” he said.
Hakeem advised other expectant fathers to actively support their partners, noting that “it’s a win-win situation that strengthens family bonds and reduces stress for the mother, benefiting both her and the unborn child.”
He also cautioned that couples should maintain balance, as some women might expect the husband to take over all chores, which can cause tension if not managed well after pregnancy.
Male support eases pregnancy stress
Michael-Azeez Ogunsiji shared how actively supporting his wife throughout her pregnancy helped ease her fatigue and promote a healthy gestation period.
He noted that while some women experience severe fatigue and sickness during pregnancy, his wife remained agile and vibrant.
Ogunsiji described the early weeks of pregnancy as challenging, with his wife experiencing tiredness, loss of appetite, and morning sickness.
“I learned to recognise these signs after our first child and made sure to follow her to weekly antenatal check-ups,” he said.
During this period, he took over kitchen duties, swept the house, and bathed their other children to ensure she rested.
As the pregnancy progressed into the sixth month, Ogunsiji prevented her from cooking near the heat to avoid any risk to the baby, although she still helped with lighter chores such as washing dishes and preparing vegetables.
Recognising the physical limitations as her pregnancy advanced, he took over heavier chores like sweeping to prevent strain.
Ogunsiji also adjusted his work schedule as a self-employed entrepreneur to spend more time with his wife, personally taking her to and from work daily.
To promote her physical health, he encouraged her to walk the children to school, while he picked them up, breaking the myth that pregnant women should avoid walking in the sun.
As a sportsman, he also engaged his pregnant wife in regular weekend walks around their estate to maintain her strength and agility.
Ogunsiji attributed their smooth pregnancy and delivery to this level of support and understanding.
“We have mastered managing pregnancy fatigue, and this has removed tension from planning for more children,” he said.
Experts weigh in
A maternal health specialist, Prof. Chris Aimakhu, emphasised the growing importance of husbands supporting their pregnant wives throughout pregnancy and childbirth.
According to him, shared responsibility between partners is key to healthier pregnancies and better delivery outcomes.
“Pregnancy support is encouraged now because the man feels a sense of responsibility; the pregnancy belongs to both of them,” Prof. Aimakhu said.
The gynaecologist explained that in many settings, men are encouraged to accompany their wives to antenatal clinics, participate in exercises together, and share the overall pregnancy experience.
He stressed that this involvement helps men understand the process, ensures women take prescribed medications, and promotes emotional well-being.
The don recounted a case where a woman in labour, initially restless and anxious, calmed down immediately upon her husband’s arrival.
“Emotional reassurance from the husband makes a big difference,” he noted.
The physician also highlighted how husband support can reduce maternal exhaustion, which is a common reason for caesarean sections after prolonged labour.
According to him, a supportive partner can motivate the woman through breathing exercises and encouragement, helping her avoid unnecessary surgical interventions.
Beyond delivery, the professor pointed out that husbands often take on crucial roles in newborn care, including feeding, bathing, and managing household duties, especially in modern Nigerian families where couples may live far from extended relatives.
“Men stepping into these roles is a growing and important practice,” he said.
On his part, a maternal health expert and professor of gynaecology and obstetrics, Prof. Ernst Orji, highlighted several benefits of husbands being present during labour beyond emotional support and reducing postpartum depression.
Prof Ernest Orji
“When the man sees what his wife suffers, he will appreciate her more, take care of her, and love her better,” Orji explained.
The physician noted that witnessing the pain of labour often changes men’s perspectives, encouraging them to be more supportive partners.
He added, “It helps men value their wives’ efforts and want to provide whatever she needs.”
Orji added that this experience can also positively influence attitudes toward family planning.
He stated, “Some men who initially resist family planning reconsider after seeing the challenges their wives face during labour. They often say, ‘Let us rest for now,’ understanding the pain involved and appreciating the children they already have.”
He further stressed that male involvement during childbirth promotes stronger family bonds.
He noted, “Men become more involved in family affairs, staying around to care for the woman and provide for the wife and children. This creates a better family environment with closer relationships between husband and wife.”
Asked about the impact of male involvement on personal and family experiences, Prof. Orji affirmed, “When men witness labour, they often realise how important their support is. It increases paternal responsibility and strengthens the couple’s relationship.”
He explained that for some men, cultural upbringing may have limited their view of women to just childbearing roles, but exposure to the realities of labour changes that mindset, fostering greater respect and involvement.
The don maintained, “Increased male involvement in childbirth improves family bonding, strengthens the couple’s relationship, and increases paternal responsibility, ultimately benefiting maternal and newborn health.”
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